Autism Acceptance: What would true Autism acceptance look like?

April is Autism Acceptance Month — a time to go beyond ‘awareness’ and push for genuine understanding, inclusion, and respect for Autistic people. At Autistic Parents UK, we asked our community: what would true Autism acceptance look like, and how would it change your life?  Here’s what our members said:

Family

Autism acceptance starts at home, and acceptance by family members is of utmost importance. This means making Autistic people (adults and children) feel loved for being themselves, just as they are.  Sadly, many Autistic people have difficult relationships with their relatives due to a lack of acceptance.  This often starts from early childhood, and can be an issue whether a child is identified as Autistic or not.

When family members hold rigid expectations of what communication, behaviour, or success should look like, it can create pressure for Autistic people to mask their true selves — leading to shame, isolation, and burnout. True acceptance means embracing different ways of expressing affection, setting boundaries, processing emotions, and engaging socially. For many Autistic people, it’s not just about being loved — it’s about being understood on their own terms.

Autism acceptance within families could look like acknowledging sensory needs or social fatigue that can make family gatherings feel overwhelming or alienating.  It could also mean relatives taking time to learn about Autism, or asking what support would be helpful.  Small acts of empathy from family can have a lifelong impact.

Education

As Autistic parents, many of our members have Autistic children, and they want acceptance not just for themselves, but for their children as well.  Our community felt that schools should be designed to identify and meet children’s needs from the start, rather than waiting until things go wrong. The way the system is set up means children often have to struggle with unmet needs for a long time before any support is offered, and it can be an ongoing battle to get support that actually meets their needs.

In addition, our members would like to see schools dropping neuronormative expectations for Autistic children.  Targets such as making eye contact or sitting quietly without fidgeting are not appropriate for Autistic children.  These kinds of targets show that Autistic ways of being are not accepted.  Targets often focus on what will make life easier for the teachers, rather than the support the child actually needs.

 Image contributed anonymously by a member. Shared with permission.

Healthcare 

True Autism acceptance means designing systems — like healthcare — that recognise and accommodate Autistic needs, rather than expecting Autistic people to adapt to inaccessible norms.  However, the reality is that healthcare can still be very inaccessible for Autistic people, and it can be difficult to get accommodations.  

As just one example, many GP surgeries still have a system where you have to phone up at 8am in order to book an appointment.  Many Autistic people struggle with phone calls, or may have a delayed or irregular sleep pattern.  Offering alternative booking options — such as online, by email, through the NHS app, or in person — would make healthcare far more accessible.  Some GPs do offer this, but it’s not universal yet.  (This applies to a whole range of services where people currently have to phone up to access things)

Training for Professionals

Autism acceptance should not just be limited to healthcare and education, but should be built into all public systems and services.  In an ideal world, our members would like all professionals working with the public to have training such as the Oliver McGowan Mandatory Training on Learning Disability and Autism.  This training is mandatory for health and social care workers, and is co-delivered by people with lived experience.  Similar training for other professions would help to increase understanding of Autistic support needs for a range of services.  At the moment, individual Autistic people usually have to do the work of educating professionals, which can be another barrier to accessibility.

 Image contributed anonymously by a member. Shared with permission.

Fewer Battles for Support

Although the world is making slow progress towards Autism acceptance, there is still a long way to go, and being Autistic can feel like a constant battle.  Our members commented on how much they have to fight for every single scrap of support they get for themselves or for their Autistic children.  As one member commented, “If autism was truly accepted for my child and I, maybe I would have the spoons and time to respond to this post with a thoughtful in-depth answer.... Alas I've spent the day writing yet another complaint to the LA and asking my MP for more help and I am beyond exhausted.”

Society

Autistic people would benefit greatly from a society that is more accepting of difference in general and has less pressure to be ‘normal’.  Or as one member put it, “Round holes allowing themselves to expand just enough for us square pegs to fit without shaving anything off… It feels like we square pegs are expected to shave so much of our square off we lose our identity, when the circles could enlarge just enough to allow us to be square without too much discomfort.”

Belonging

At the end of the day Autistic people want to be full members of society, to be able to access services, to be appreciated and wanted, and to be accepted for who they are: “To belong...not be just allowed, tolerated, made a reluctant space for. A welcome space.”

True acceptance means more than awareness — it means structural change, empathy, and a deep appreciation for Autistic ways of being. We are grateful to our members for sharing their thoughts. This April — and every month — we invite you to listen to and learn from Autistic people, and take action toward a more inclusive world.

Written by: Zoe Williams, Autistic Parents UK interim trustee, expert by lived experience

Reviewed by: Tanya Adkin, Autistic Parents UK trustee, Social Work Assistant & Autism Specialist